I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
ttyl tear gas
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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