YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
