i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
