Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?