a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
