Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

So are we goin out tonight?

(315): View more from New York

Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...

(850): View more from Florida

And that was fun, wasn't it?

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(850): So are we goin out tonight? (315): Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night... (850): And that was fun, wasn't it? http://tfl.nu/s8z3

Replies (18) Good night (3182) Bad night (697)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?

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(402): apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor. (717): But why'd she put it on the conveyor then? http://tfl.nu/v0cx

Replies (4) Good night (2695) Bad night (622)
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(207): View more from Maine

We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.

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(207): We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us. http://tfl.nu/uz8z

Replies (10) Good night (3133) Bad night (890)
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(309): View more from Illinois

She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.

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(309): She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack. http://tfl.nu/09jw

Replies (17) Good night (3222) Bad night (1189)
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(804): View more from Virginia

And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively

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(804): And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively http://tfl.nu/2885

Replies (15) Good night (5289) Bad night (740)
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(586): View more from Michigan

at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....

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(586): at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool.... http://tfl.nu/juyn

Replies (25) Good night (6431) Bad night (1735)
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(914): View more from New York

she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?

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(914): she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal? http://tfl.nu/dwfw

Replies (20) Good night (1417) Bad night (4262)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.

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(502): Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there. http://tfl.nu/zqp7

Replies (13) Good night (1433) Bad night (6411)
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(678): View more from Georgia

As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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(678): As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off. http://tfl.nu/2oau

Replies (3) Good night (2912) Bad night (844)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag

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(785): I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag http://tfl.nu/283w

Replies (7) Good night (2738) Bad night (857)
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(240): View more from Maryland

You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.

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(240): You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over. http://tfl.nu/m9ag

Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (372)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B

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(913): Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B http://tfl.nu/a09x

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (302)
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(210): View more from Texas

Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...

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(210): Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you... http://tfl.nu/i3t4

Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (316)
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(707): View more from California

I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?

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(707): I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right? http://tfl.nu/gf0b

Replies (0) Good night (384) Bad night (488)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Are you ok?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.

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(240): Are you ok? (978): They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy. http://tfl.nu/fltm

Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (179)

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