Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
