How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
