Non-Jews are for practice
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No subtext here. People are naked.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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