is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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