Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he was CRYING into my vagina
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The power of my boobs compel you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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