If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
