false alarm. still invincible.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
