Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize