Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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