Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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