I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
