Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Cold hands, warm shart.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
True strength comes from lack of pants
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
