I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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