So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
