Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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