Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
