yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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