I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
