You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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