she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
