Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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