she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize