who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
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I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
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I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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