i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize