In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
