i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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