FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
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Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
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Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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