haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
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