remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
