of course. lets lasso hookers.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
