I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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