video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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