he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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