I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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