so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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