Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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