You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize