Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
