he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
