weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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