Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
