I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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