I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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