I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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