Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
