This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You may now shotgun with the bride
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
