Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
