Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
