Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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