Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
