Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
