physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
