it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
