I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We are all done wearing pants today
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize