Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
God, I missed his penis.
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