We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
